Stress

Stress has been part of my life since... oh crap I can't even remember not being stressed out. That’s stressful. I have a maximum quota of stress before I lose it. I can feel it welling up in me, choking me up in my chest cavity and then suddenly it wells up into my throat and then bang, I cry and cry and cry and cry. And get a nose bleed from my blood pressure, to add insult to injury.
There are all these self-help books out there about stress reduction and how to live a better life. I have read a few, and then threw them across the room when I was stressed. These people must be high to think that smelling scents like lavender will relax me, or chant or meditate or own a dog, A DOG!! I have owned a dog and stepped in crap and found that not soothing at all. I have done so many stress-relieving things that I could write a book on how NOT to relieve stress. I actually believe that I am where relaxation goes to die.
I once bought a stress ball. Mine busted and spilled all over my car. Note to self: Sue the stress ball company.
I am sure all of you have seen me at my stressed max. I get that twitchy eye and I look crazed and say random things...oh wait that’s me everyday. SEE!! And if you have been following, you know that while I am stressed like this I suddenly have this motivation to make a life altering decision that messes up my life. I need an intervention, or a get out of shit free card or a sponsor. SIGH.

I need a vacation. Sipping drinks over- looking a beach. AHHHH.

Or maybe I should just be glad that I have such a busy amazing life full of people and things that surround me with love and ambition and crazy random things that make me crazy. Yeah...that works a little. ARGH.