Quite Honestly...Being honest sucks.

Hey we all struggle with this one. We all have insecurities that lurk inside us...festering there making us hesitate in our life's goals. I seem pretty confident. I say what I want most of the time. I answer truthfully most of the time. I own my crap like a pro. But I am super insecure inside. I constantly wonder how I am preceived by others.

Don't you wish that one day a year, you could have a open house inside everyones minds to see how they really see you. I think it would be liberating and a little painful. I mean how are we suppose to fix what is wrong unless someone TELLS us what we do wrong. You could live a whole life thinking your doing the right thing and in the end you find out that everyone actually thinks your horrible and wrong. That would be devastating  to me. I honestly want to do right onto others. I actually would like to never hurt another person again if I can. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes I will do or say something stupid and inflict pain or anger onto someone else. I don't like it. But I am human and a work in progress.


Why don't we have the power to be honest with each other? Don't want to hurt feelings? Especially women. WE should be the MOST honest with each other, but we are the worst at having how we really feel about someone in our head and put out a fake way we treat them on the outside. There isn't a person in this world that hasn't insta judged someone. Its not wrong to have an immediate impression of someone, what is wrong is to build a whole story about that person inside your head without involving them in the process. If you didn't like one thing someone did its not fair to assume that ..THAT is who they are. There is a whole story that made that person get to that place and your not that author. You don't have copy write to that story. Writing this just now, I realize that I have to re-read peoples stories and let them tell it. How do we do that?

 Call each other on our crap once in a while. Catch us doing something stupid and call it!!! Make the circle of deceit end. That inner dialog that we all have rolling around in our head about someone...share it. Not all the time. Maybe once a year. Have a meeting with your closest friends and lay it out. Not just the flaws but the solution to it. I think that would be powerful. A better way of handling it would be to bring a list of your insecurities with you and share them with your friends or family that you trust and get their opinion on it. Make the rule of no bull crap at the beginning of this meeting. And most important. Listen. Hear it. Own it. Painful as it could possibly be its better than living a false life. Honesty is a power we all have the right to have.