The Golden Egg

We all have the Golden Egg in our lives, that one treasure we always want to reach out and get. For some of us its financial freedom, a new house, a family, love, acceptance, freedom.

My friend Wendy, for instance, she has always wanted a relationship and a family of her own. That Golden Egg avoided her like the plague. She had bad boyfriend after bad boyfriend. She never found a man that was her equal. She either found a broken, wounded work in progress, or a guy that she felt she didn't deserve so she spent her time in that relationship trying to prove she was worthy. I came on scene and watched my fair share of these losers come in and out of our lives. I told her that the moment she accepts that she really doesn't need the Golden Egg is when she will get it. When she loves just being her, and she becomes her own biggest fan that, is when The Golden Egg will arrive.

That is the key to all our hopes and dreams. Get to a place where you don't want it, when you accept that your always going to be ok even if things don't go your way. If your scared of money or not having enough. You have to get to a place where money doesn't determine your happiness or your life. If you are ashamed you don't own a house or a car, then you need to get to a place where a house and a car isn't important to you. If you live a life full of fear you won't be fearless and free.

That is my Golden Egg. Being fearless. I could have called this blog Fluffy Funny and Fearless, but that is a crock of shit. Many people have told me they admire how fearless I am. That I seem to make decisions that are hard to make all the time and I do it without fear. That simply isn't true. All my decisions I have HAD to make, have been made out of fear. I am scared of everything. I don't trust myself at all, I don't trust others so good either. I fear peoples rejection constantly, I fear being judged, I fear being without love, I fear being alone, I fear EVERYTHING. Stupid Golden Egg. I would love to drop kick that egg into my neighbors back yard, but then they would judge me as a bad neighbor and I'm FEARFUL of that!! I'm a disaster. Where was I going with this? I was talking about Wendy. I also fear having no attention span.

So Wendy embarked on the journey to be ok with herself, without Golden Egg. She spent a lot of time alone. She joined clubs and read a lot of books. She dated men but didn't want anything extra from them. She loved being with herself so much that having to impress a guy so he wanted her wasn't an option anymore. She raised her opinion of herself and prepared herself for the man she deserved. And you know what happened? The Golden Egg has made an appearance. He is in the form of a guy that has had a simular journey as Wendy, he has had to learn how to live for himself too, and he is willing to embark on a road with Wendy that will continue as long as they both feel happy. Perhaps the Golden Egg. I believe even if he isn't the said egg, he is a good step towards her greater good.

The Golden Egg and I, well we are working it out. Blogging on here has me facing some of my fears. I AM facing it though. That golden egg will arrive someday and I will stand on that comedy stage and I will be great, I will be happy and I will be surrounded with people who's opinions and judgments I don't care about. Ok that scared me.


This could take a while.