Beat it Mr. Negative

Man have I been burned out lately. I guess sharing on here sometimes will drain me. I had to just step away for a while and reflect.


Sometimes during that reflection I would hear that stupid voice that resides in my head and hates its landlord. That voice will stay up all night just make you feel like a piece of crap. My voice says things like you should get out of bed and help with the kids. Only lazy horrible mothers stay in bed when they are sick. Did your mom stay in bed when she was sick? No she sure didn't. Guess your not as good as she was. Stupid voice. I should evict it. Well, I have actually evicted it, but it won't leave. So I guess Voice is a squatter. Stupid voice squatters.

I'm not the only one that listens to that voice, my friend Wendy was just listening to that sultry voice the other day. It told her that she didn't deserve that beautiful egg she found. (BTW that guy she is dating is looking more and more like her golden egg) The voice told her that she will probably screw it up and that she wasn't worthy of it. She called me that night and we went through what she has done to be ready for this wonderful guy. She has become strong and independent, she has learned to love her life just the way it is, she has become secure with herself. No man can ever take that away from her again, because she is in full ownership of her heart and soul.


That's the way it should be, we own our heart and soul and we only allow a person to reside there. If someone doesn't treat it with respect and dignity then they should be evicted. All this nonsense of giving your heart and soul to someone is crazy. No one should be in control of the main part of your entity, it is only yours and only you can love and nurture it well. If you give that to someone else then you are asking someone that doesn't know your essence to run your life. There is no way that person knows where you have been and where you would like to go. I told her to tell that voice to shut the hell up, you won't screw this relationship up, it's being built with boundaries, and with respect and with honesty, that is a good recipe for success.


Trying to change your life is difficult enough without Mr. Negative lurking around. Every time I start to believe that I will be able to get this career off the ground, that voice comes along and gives me doubts. Those doubts are legit, for sure. The stand up industry is very competitive and takes a lot of work to get into the fold. Right now, I am very exhausted and stressed and unable to really find the passion I need to get this going. I am listening to my body right now, I am resting I am reflecting and I am dreaming big. I feel that's is a really good start.


Somehow I have to get my positive voice to be louder than Mr. Negative voice. I am not a horrible mom because I am sick. I am not a loser. I am not lazy. I am just sick, tired and overwhelmed. END OF STORY. Seeking perfection is crazy. There is no such thing as perfection. There is only perfect for you, and perfect for me right now is in bed, sick, tired and unable to perfectly run this household. I still get up and get the kids ready in the morning, I still put them to bed at night, I still love them all, I just can't do any extras right now.



So Mr. Negative, I am in control of this heart and soul I hear it needs to recoup and rest. I do hear I should do some laundry before my kids start wearing things inside out to pass as clean. I will probably do some today. Hopefully. No I will!!

So Mr Negative, BEAT IT!