The sign

As many of you know I had to say goodbye to my Uncle Eugene last weekend. Everyone will miss his funny and outrageous personality, his great hugs and his love for us.

I just wanted to share with you something very touching that happened the night my uncle passed. His family and I were gathered at the house, sipping one of his cheap beers in his honor and suddenly his oldest daughter Michelle, called for us all to come outside. Right outside the door was a deer, standing there calm and peaceful. Deer have never been seen at this part of the city before, my aunty said that she has lived there for over 20 years and has never seen a deer near or around her house. We all rushed out to see him and he sauntered across the street and met up with another deer. Both of the deer were very quiet and peaceful and they didn't seem alarmed by us at all, we were trying to get pictures and they just kept walking away slowly.

My aunt and my cousins were sent a sign.

Those deer were displaced, but they were calm and content to be there. It was Uncle telling his family," I'm in a new place, but I am happy here and I have Jacinthe with me, and we will be here for you."

I think we are given a sign during our time of loss. It gives us hope that everything will be ok in the end of the grief. I have seen signs whenever I have lost someone close to me. It has helped me get to a place where I can still hope that tomorrow will be better.

When my mom was dying, she and I bought a rose bush for each of us. Hers was pink and mine was yellow. During the short while my mom battled cancer, we would have this competition on who's roses looked better. Mom’s was getting bigger and full of blooms and just lovely, while mine was just a bunch of leaves and a couple of petals on one worn out rose. My mom would make fun of my lame rose bush and laugh at my frustration with my dumb plant. The morning she passed away I went out onto the deck to get some air and to be alone. I sat at the table where our rose bushes sat. It took me a while to notice, but when I looked up my small half dead rose bush was brilliant with 10 full roses fully bloomed and my plant being twice the size it was the day before. I looked over at my mom's rose bush and it had diminished and was small and wilted. I started to cry when I saw her wilted little plant, I didn’t want to think that she was gone, or diminished it was too much, when suddenly I realized what those plants meant.

My mom was telling me, by blooming my rose bush, that I would grow and bloom, and she would help me, by putting all her love into me.

I have grown a lot in the last couple months. I have come close to understanding why I have lost so many people I love, but I never got the true meaning, until we lost Uncle Eugene. With all the loss I have known, I gained empathy and strength that can only come from someone that has been in those shoes.

I want them to know one thing that took me forever to learn. We were lucky to have these people in our lives for however long it was. Some people live a whole life without someone significant or amazing coming along. We were given moments with someone that loved us and taught us love. The memories will warm us while we get through this life without them.
It's not going to be easy, being without them.

But.

It's better than a life that didn't have them in it at all.