Be Thankful

It's always easier to see what you don't have, than to see the gifts you have, and admire them.
During what I call my epic fail, I came to realize something. I have SO much already, that it's ok if I don't add to it. Sure I have to add health and contentment into the mix but I already have way more than I have ever had.
So today folks I am thankful. Not just today but every day I will wake up in the morning and think of these things. This is in no particular order.

I am thankful for my children, they are my legacy, I will carry on through my children who, like me, are good people with warm hearts and brilliant minds. With them my fear of being alone with never be realized. They keep me happy and positive about our future. They have saved me in so many ways.

I am thankful for my parents. I was raised with love and guidance and with this enormous capacity to keep standing and believing. They weathered through some amazing storms with me, together. Strong. I am thankful they gave me my resilience and great capacity to love and be loved. They believed in me the best they could and because of that, I didn't, I couldn't, fall apart and quit. They never did. They lead by example.

I am thankful for Jon. He came into this calamity and just emerged himself into the chaos and brought some peace. He had weathered his fair share of storms with me, and has proven time and time again that he is a rock strong enough to hold my family and me together.

I am thankful for my friends. They unknowingly had to audition for the role of my friend and they all passed it with flying colors. I am not always easy to befriend and I can really put up a stink when I feel threatened but somehow they have all stayed close and loved me in spite of me. I am now brave enough to try and reach for my dreams and goals because I know that I have the safety of their support, their love, their patience and most importantly their amazing ability to sing my life song to me when I forget the words. Some of them have know me most of my life and others have just met me but they, somehow know me well enough to pick me up, dust me off and send me back in for another round. I thank everyone reading this for loving me enough to share this journey with me. I will never forget this love and devotion.

I am thankful for Jason and Melanie. Perhaps I didn't get to know my sister very well, I was only 3 when we lost her but she impacted our family. My mom held me and Jason closer, loved us deeper because she knew that life is temporary. My dad, because of Melanie, learned to be the rock of the family, pulling us away from the pain and moving towards the future, leaving Lethbridge and starting over and new in Calgary. I think that saved my mom. I think that saved us all. Of course I am thankful for Jason. I was blessed to have him in my life, and although getting back on track without him has been difficult, I know I am a better person because I had him and lost him, it made me learn empathy, it made me learn strength and it made me love everyone better, because like my mom, I understand everyone is temporary. Including me.

I am thankful for my body; a little battered a little damaged and needing some repair, it has kept me afloat during some great storms, a few hurricanes and a couple tidal waves. My heart, for loving so many, for breaking and loving again. My soul, for staying with God and believing when I couldn't.

And last but not least, thanks Wendy for telling me I have so much to be thankful for. Thanks for reminding over and over how far I have come. Thanks for holding my hand while I climbed out of the bottom and thanks for reminding me I am not there anymore.

I think everyone should do this. I feel so content, with what I have now.

Everything I NEED is right here.


I am thankful for that.