Growing beautiful sometimes finds weeds.

So as I get some of this fluffy out of my fluffy suit, I'm discovering I am becoming intolerant to bullcrap.

I am pissed off to be honest.

I hate that I can't  tell people off the way I want to, I might hurt their feelings,and that would hurt me. Yet I constantly have  people disregard my feelings and tell me off and I take it. I don't defend myself, I get nervous and the Town Idiot comes out to play. I joke off the pain and I let them walk away satisfied they took a dig at me.

You call me your friend??!! I call you my friend? 

Why? Because of my fear of being left and alone?

Because telling you to go screw yourself might have you leave me for life?

 I HAVE HAD PEOPLE LEAVE ME FOR LIFE AND I SURVIVED IT!!

 I WILL SURVIVE IT AGAIN.

Counting on my fears to give you free range to treat me like shit, is a bullcrap thing to do. You are terrible to do this to me. You need to stop and think for a minute what you are doing, to me. Making me fearful, your friend your sister, someone that believes in you and goes out of her way to give you the respect you deserve. Although now I question, what you deserve from me.

I do have a voice, although I don't tell you off at the time of your insult, I do change my relationship with you. I stop calling, I stop commenting on your life, I stop giving a shit. It is my self defense against hurtful, selfish and mean people. I can't relate to you if that is who you are.

 Tear down someone to gain ground? Disgusting. Selfish. You should be ashamed of yourself, I am ashamed of you.

You are no sister of mine.

You could fix this, you won't.

So I am fixing this.

Weeding my garden.