Let me tell you something about working out Fluffy, it isn't easy. First, finding sports bras that fit over your large boobs is like trying to find ocean front property in Saskatchewan. (Prairies for my American friends) I tried on dozens before I snapped and bought this white contraption that makes me have a large uni boob...awesome. Next is finding running shoes that don't suck the life out of your poor over burdened feet. THERE ISN'T A SHOE THAT MAKES YOU FLOAT...I looked. I'm still looking. SIGH.
My first few days on the dreaded treadmill were terrible. I could only go 2.5 and I was soaked with sweat. My ankles were packing their bags and ready to leave me, my hips and back thought that I was a cruel horrible monster that abuses poor innocent body parts After my half hour, I slithered off the treadmill and slimed my way to the change room, now I'm not sure if it is because I am fluffy and look approachable but as I was panting on the gym bench, staring at my locker and willing it to open itself,when a gym nymph sat down beside me and started talking to me about how proud she is of me, how she watched me lug it out on the treadmill and how proud I must be of myself. To be honest, I missed most of what she said because my ears were conducting a test of the emergency broadcasting system and my stomach was debating between a bag of cheese doodles or a box of Brownie cookies, as my just reward.
Suddenly it got quiet and I looked up at the Gym Nymph and she was smiling at me. I moistened my dry and pasty mouth and said the first thing that came to my mind "Do you know CPR?" Then I smiled. Even though I didn't know this woman, my natural humour kicked in and, in my own way, I thanked this kind Gym Nymph. She laughed and patted my leg and told me her name. (I can't remember it because my ears and the testing) I told her mine, and ever since, every time she sees me, she says Hi Raquel! You are amazing. I always answer with, Thanks! You too eh."
My goal is to learn her name, hers is to go as long on the treadmill as me. Hope it all works out.
I kept at it, everyday my body reacted better to the workout. I upped my speed to a 3.0 and added an incline. Next I added weights and started to see some muscle definition. I dropped 23 lbs and I was starting to feel great. I still feel great. I have to slow down a bit for now, my medications are out of wack because all these great choices have had a great impact on my health. My medications are in half now. I can climb the stairs without getting completely breathless. I can walk for a long time without getting tired. I can lift my 5 year old up and carry her up the stairs and even though I am still breathless, I can recover and tuck her into bed.
I am getting my health back. I am getting me back.
Everyday, after I work out, I sit on that same bench and bow my head and thank this body for loving me. For giving me one more chance to get it right, one more chance, to build this body into a healthy, happy and hopeful success.
This is it. My time to shine. (Probably from sweat and slime)
;)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I am an addict
My name is Raquel and I am a food addict.
I decided 6 days ago to embark on a journey towards self discovery, I wanted to know if I was truly a food addict.
I sure am.
I have been using food as an escape from reality. I have used it to mask feelings, to "fill myself" with food because I didn't feel "full". I felt like I was empty inside and of course I decided that food was what my body was craving. It never occurred to me that the empty feeling wasn't actual hunger for food but a hunger for love, acceptance and peace. I hungered for my brother back, I hungered for understanding from anyone and I hungered for a break from it all. I ate and ate and ate, and yet the emptiness continued. Until now.
I am full. I am an addict that has to make conscience awareness of my actions and I have to re-learn a life were food is sustenance not pleasure or escape. Every choice I make for the rest of my life has to be about being aware of what I am doing, because the addict in me wants me to eat until I feel euphoria as apposed to appetite. Until I understand the difference, I have to take all enjoyment out of food. Don't worry it's not forever, just until I know and understand the actually feeling of hunger vs empty. So far I have discovered that I'm not hungry very often. I have my planned meal times, snacks but because all of them entail tasteless blah, it isn't that often. I have began adding yummy foods back in, but portioned so I'm not in charge.
It helps me that my whole house hold is on board with this. My children know I am not in control with food. They watch me like a hawk. They don't bring crappy foods into my house. Thank God, I know I would attack someone right now.
At night seems to be my crazy time. That is when I obsess about food. I think I'm starving.
So lets analyze why I am so hungry at night.
Night time is when I have to wind down and rest my mind so I can sleep. I have never been a great sleeper, because my mind races and I think of all the days events and criticize myself. I can't stand listening to my mean mind so I eat and it goes away. AH HA!! Hummmmm. How to shut my mind up without food? Looking back, when I had a healthy relationship with food, I don't EVER remember eating after supper, maybe popcorn on the weekends but...nothing else really...what did I do then? Well as a teenager I was on the phone with my friends, laughing about stupid stuff, planning events, plotting outfits. Well that won't happen now. I would listen to music or watch TV. NOW when I watch TV I associate that with snacking so...that won't work right now.
Music? Listen to some great tunes that make me feel great, maybe that will shut up the critical voice in my head! I also plan to tell that voice off from time to time.
OR every time I start criticizing myself I do 10 crunches or push ups. I think soon it would shut up. Or I will die from lack of oxygen...what ever comes first. ;)
Tonight I will try this.
Food addiction is the hardest addiction to kick, I think, I still need to eat, but I have a bad relationship with food, so I have to teach myself coping techniques to survive. I can't go to restaurants, I can't be in charge of self serve at a buffet, I can't socially eat until I know the difference between hunger and filling a void. All addicts have to eventually live a some what normal life again, just with boundaries, to protect them from relapse.
From now on I have to be constantly aware of food, and my relationship with it. I can't be out of control around food, so activities about food have to change for me and my family, for life. This mean we all be aware of the addict in the family and not expect them to conform to a society that revolves around food. Christmas will just be different. Instead of all the food on the table with easy access we will have a buffet style dinner, and I will be in check, with my support person helping me make the choices. Hopefully for me, by Christmas, I will be in better control. Right now, no way I would hold back or be conscience of the amount of food I NEED instead of what I want. NO WAY.
Food Addiction is hard. Food Addiction is for life.
I am a Food Addict.
I decided 6 days ago to embark on a journey towards self discovery, I wanted to know if I was truly a food addict.
I sure am.
I have been using food as an escape from reality. I have used it to mask feelings, to "fill myself" with food because I didn't feel "full". I felt like I was empty inside and of course I decided that food was what my body was craving. It never occurred to me that the empty feeling wasn't actual hunger for food but a hunger for love, acceptance and peace. I hungered for my brother back, I hungered for understanding from anyone and I hungered for a break from it all. I ate and ate and ate, and yet the emptiness continued. Until now.
I am full. I am an addict that has to make conscience awareness of my actions and I have to re-learn a life were food is sustenance not pleasure or escape. Every choice I make for the rest of my life has to be about being aware of what I am doing, because the addict in me wants me to eat until I feel euphoria as apposed to appetite. Until I understand the difference, I have to take all enjoyment out of food. Don't worry it's not forever, just until I know and understand the actually feeling of hunger vs empty. So far I have discovered that I'm not hungry very often. I have my planned meal times, snacks but because all of them entail tasteless blah, it isn't that often. I have began adding yummy foods back in, but portioned so I'm not in charge.
It helps me that my whole house hold is on board with this. My children know I am not in control with food. They watch me like a hawk. They don't bring crappy foods into my house. Thank God, I know I would attack someone right now.
At night seems to be my crazy time. That is when I obsess about food. I think I'm starving.
So lets analyze why I am so hungry at night.
Night time is when I have to wind down and rest my mind so I can sleep. I have never been a great sleeper, because my mind races and I think of all the days events and criticize myself. I can't stand listening to my mean mind so I eat and it goes away. AH HA!! Hummmmm. How to shut my mind up without food? Looking back, when I had a healthy relationship with food, I don't EVER remember eating after supper, maybe popcorn on the weekends but...nothing else really...what did I do then? Well as a teenager I was on the phone with my friends, laughing about stupid stuff, planning events, plotting outfits. Well that won't happen now. I would listen to music or watch TV. NOW when I watch TV I associate that with snacking so...that won't work right now.
Music? Listen to some great tunes that make me feel great, maybe that will shut up the critical voice in my head! I also plan to tell that voice off from time to time.
OR every time I start criticizing myself I do 10 crunches or push ups. I think soon it would shut up. Or I will die from lack of oxygen...what ever comes first. ;)
Tonight I will try this.
Food addiction is the hardest addiction to kick, I think, I still need to eat, but I have a bad relationship with food, so I have to teach myself coping techniques to survive. I can't go to restaurants, I can't be in charge of self serve at a buffet, I can't socially eat until I know the difference between hunger and filling a void. All addicts have to eventually live a some what normal life again, just with boundaries, to protect them from relapse.
From now on I have to be constantly aware of food, and my relationship with it. I can't be out of control around food, so activities about food have to change for me and my family, for life. This mean we all be aware of the addict in the family and not expect them to conform to a society that revolves around food. Christmas will just be different. Instead of all the food on the table with easy access we will have a buffet style dinner, and I will be in check, with my support person helping me make the choices. Hopefully for me, by Christmas, I will be in better control. Right now, no way I would hold back or be conscience of the amount of food I NEED instead of what I want. NO WAY.
Food Addiction is hard. Food Addiction is for life.
I am a Food Addict.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Detox
Well like all addicts I have to go into detox first.
Food is my drug of choice. When I feel lonely or angry or anything really I resort to food to make me feel better. So does anyone that is over weight, eating fills you up and makes that empty feeling go away.
I have to stop associating food with pleasure. I know what your thinking, why take pleasure out of eating, it will only make you hate yet another diet.
I AM NOT ON A DIET. I AM IN DETOX. Detox isn't pleasurable, it is a time when you get all the harmful drugs out of your system, you learn to associate food at the reality of what it is, it is a means to fuel your body and keep you healthy. I have taken that association away.
As babies we are taught to eat solid foods, but adding one thing at a time to figure out if they can tolerate it. In recovering from eating addiction we have to do the same thing. Get back to the basics. I have to take no pleasure in food for at least 2 weeks to I can build a normal relationship with food. I have to worry about getting proper nutrition and that is it. So everything that I put inside myself this week with be plain and tasteless. It will have all the nutritional values, but I won't get a pleasure hit from it.
All addictions are about taking pleasure from getting away from yourself and basking in the glow of avoidance. So when I eat a moist piece of chocolate cake I escape to a place that gives me pleasure and leave from my natural state of panic.
We all have a natural state of panic. Worry about judgement, loneliness, other peoples problems, our own problems and escape is necessary sometimes, however a physical escape is better than a addictive one.
For two weeks, I will be writing on here my feelings and NOT enjoying it. I will be miserable, because detox is like that, and I will be whole for the first time in my life.
Detox....here I come.
Food is my drug of choice. When I feel lonely or angry or anything really I resort to food to make me feel better. So does anyone that is over weight, eating fills you up and makes that empty feeling go away.
I have to stop associating food with pleasure. I know what your thinking, why take pleasure out of eating, it will only make you hate yet another diet.
I AM NOT ON A DIET. I AM IN DETOX. Detox isn't pleasurable, it is a time when you get all the harmful drugs out of your system, you learn to associate food at the reality of what it is, it is a means to fuel your body and keep you healthy. I have taken that association away.
As babies we are taught to eat solid foods, but adding one thing at a time to figure out if they can tolerate it. In recovering from eating addiction we have to do the same thing. Get back to the basics. I have to take no pleasure in food for at least 2 weeks to I can build a normal relationship with food. I have to worry about getting proper nutrition and that is it. So everything that I put inside myself this week with be plain and tasteless. It will have all the nutritional values, but I won't get a pleasure hit from it.
All addictions are about taking pleasure from getting away from yourself and basking in the glow of avoidance. So when I eat a moist piece of chocolate cake I escape to a place that gives me pleasure and leave from my natural state of panic.
We all have a natural state of panic. Worry about judgement, loneliness, other peoples problems, our own problems and escape is necessary sometimes, however a physical escape is better than a addictive one.
For two weeks, I will be writing on here my feelings and NOT enjoying it. I will be miserable, because detox is like that, and I will be whole for the first time in my life.
Detox....here I come.
When I get in shape...
When I get in shape...
Every fluffy person has this dialog where we believe when we get thin the world will drastically change for us. Maybe it would change, but maybe all the things you are waiting for, you could achieve fluffy too.
Let me try this:
Statement: When I lose weight I will look stylish and beautiful.
Truth: I would look better in clothes. No lumps or bumps and I could bend over to tie my shoes without passing out from loss of oxygen. However I am good looking now and that won't change with a smaller size.
Statement: People will be nicer to me when I am thin.
Truth: Probably not. Because I am pretty cute, fluffy, people aren't threatened by me. When I was in great shape people constantly miss read me and took my humour wrong. I was judged by the cover, not the book.
Now people cozy up to me and stay for a good read. I love that.
However, there is some truth in this statement too. In general people are kinder to attractive people, not saying I am unattractive, but when you are overweight you are seen as less attractive and I have noticed that "skinnies" want an explanation for your large size, why do you get away with letting everything go and being lazy? Why do I work hard everyday to maintain a healthy weight when this person does whatever they want? I sense it often. I think everyone has said something along the lines of " Promise to shoot me if I get that big" It is a terrible thing to say, but society dislikes obese.
Statement: Once I get this weight off I will feel better, get my dreams going and live a better life.
Truth: Will I live a better life? Will the things that truly matter in my life change? No. My children and husband will still love me the same. I will still have a nice home and a great job and amazing friends that love and support me. The "GREAT" part of my life is already here. Sure maybe I might have more success with the weight off but I believe I can succeed this size too. The confidence is here inside me inside us all. We just have to believe we are good enough to pull off amazing things.
Statement: I will feel better when I lose the weight.
Truth: Yes I will. I will not be out of breathe when I climb stairs, I will have less to carry around so I will be less tired. I will take pressure off all my joints and limbs and they will rejoice in that and with the healthy food choices I make, my blood pressure will stabilize, my heart will stop beating erratically and I will be able to survive life saving surgeries. This statement is completely true, but there is a glitch, until I feel better, in my heart and soul. I won't lose the weight. I am holding on to it because it shows the world I'm sad and broken and constantly need something. I'm hungry for something but my body only understands one type of hunger. Once I figure that out, I will be well.
Statement: All the people that are disappointed in me will forgive me and love me when I am thin, beautiful and successful.
Truth: O.K. I AM SICK TO DEATH OF CARING ABOUT THIS!!! Tough shit I'm human and I was young and I am over it and to the people that want to dwell in this and keep me there, then it is time to watch Jersey Shore and judge someone else for a change. They deserve judgement...I don't, not now, not ever.
(We will come back to this at a later time when I 'm not hostile)
No wait!! This is important. I won't allow myself to make this weight loss journey about redemption. I once made a man about redemption and it turned out terrible. No longer will I seek redemption, I have more than reconciled myself of my past and now I am going towards a future of wisdom, empathy, love and courage. I will not be defined by anything other than my present self.
When I get this fluffy suit off, I just want to enjoy my body, I want to move without restriction, I want to climb without getting out of breath and I want to be pain free, my knees, my ankles and my heart.
When I get in shape I will be the same person I have always been, just better, because I knew and loved this fluffy girl first.
Every fluffy person has this dialog where we believe when we get thin the world will drastically change for us. Maybe it would change, but maybe all the things you are waiting for, you could achieve fluffy too.
Let me try this:
Statement: When I lose weight I will look stylish and beautiful.
Truth: I would look better in clothes. No lumps or bumps and I could bend over to tie my shoes without passing out from loss of oxygen. However I am good looking now and that won't change with a smaller size.
Statement: People will be nicer to me when I am thin.
Truth: Probably not. Because I am pretty cute, fluffy, people aren't threatened by me. When I was in great shape people constantly miss read me and took my humour wrong. I was judged by the cover, not the book.
Now people cozy up to me and stay for a good read. I love that.
However, there is some truth in this statement too. In general people are kinder to attractive people, not saying I am unattractive, but when you are overweight you are seen as less attractive and I have noticed that "skinnies" want an explanation for your large size, why do you get away with letting everything go and being lazy? Why do I work hard everyday to maintain a healthy weight when this person does whatever they want? I sense it often. I think everyone has said something along the lines of " Promise to shoot me if I get that big" It is a terrible thing to say, but society dislikes obese.
Statement: Once I get this weight off I will feel better, get my dreams going and live a better life.
Truth: Will I live a better life? Will the things that truly matter in my life change? No. My children and husband will still love me the same. I will still have a nice home and a great job and amazing friends that love and support me. The "GREAT" part of my life is already here. Sure maybe I might have more success with the weight off but I believe I can succeed this size too. The confidence is here inside me inside us all. We just have to believe we are good enough to pull off amazing things.
Statement: I will feel better when I lose the weight.
Truth: Yes I will. I will not be out of breathe when I climb stairs, I will have less to carry around so I will be less tired. I will take pressure off all my joints and limbs and they will rejoice in that and with the healthy food choices I make, my blood pressure will stabilize, my heart will stop beating erratically and I will be able to survive life saving surgeries. This statement is completely true, but there is a glitch, until I feel better, in my heart and soul. I won't lose the weight. I am holding on to it because it shows the world I'm sad and broken and constantly need something. I'm hungry for something but my body only understands one type of hunger. Once I figure that out, I will be well.
Statement: All the people that are disappointed in me will forgive me and love me when I am thin, beautiful and successful.
Truth: O.K. I AM SICK TO DEATH OF CARING ABOUT THIS!!! Tough shit I'm human and I was young and I am over it and to the people that want to dwell in this and keep me there, then it is time to watch Jersey Shore and judge someone else for a change. They deserve judgement...I don't, not now, not ever.
(We will come back to this at a later time when I 'm not hostile)
No wait!! This is important. I won't allow myself to make this weight loss journey about redemption. I once made a man about redemption and it turned out terrible. No longer will I seek redemption, I have more than reconciled myself of my past and now I am going towards a future of wisdom, empathy, love and courage. I will not be defined by anything other than my present self.
When I get this fluffy suit off, I just want to enjoy my body, I want to move without restriction, I want to climb without getting out of breath and I want to be pain free, my knees, my ankles and my heart.
When I get in shape I will be the same person I have always been, just better, because I knew and loved this fluffy girl first.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Onward!
So since the beginning of this blog I have hit home the things I am running away from. I have fear, I have sadness, I have regrets.
Those things have kept this fluffy suit on. I have spent the last year analyzing them and the conclusion is this, I am not defined by those events, sure they changed me but they aren't who I am. I have paid my dues for those transgressions and my mourning period is over. I will always miss my family but I in order to live to see my OWN family prosper I have to get over it and move towards a great future...
This blog is changing with me, it will be about my journey towards health. It will be about addiction and struggle and figuring it all out, for myself on my terms.
I will also need YOU. I need you to comment about my ideas, be honest and give me feedback. This project NEEDS dedication from us all. I think it will be the single answer to the future of weight loss and understanding.
Worldwide obesity has nearly doubled since 1980. More than half a billion adults are obese in 2008. The world has been putting on weight at a rate of about 2 1/2 to three pounds a decade of each person on the planet. Canada has some the the highest average body mass indexes among wealthy nations.
All the systems out there have it wrong, and need a NEW and better system. My goal is to develop that system, through extensive research, personal triumph and constantly asking the question " Why is this getting worse and worse when the health industry is getting bigger and bigger.?" THEY HAVE IT WRONG!!
I want to make it right. What would work for me? What will make ME in control of my addiction. Make ME take control of food and stay healthy? I plan on answering those questions on this blog from now on.
Here is the statement that I wrote that will be a huge part of this program. It will be said at every meeting and I will have it written every where I am.
Here it is:
Today I will cherish my body, mind and soul.
Today I build a healthy relationship with myself.
Today I will reconcile my past and forgive.
Today I live without a substance or people defining who I am.
Today will be my best day.
Onward.
So take my hand and lets get this show on the road.
Those things have kept this fluffy suit on. I have spent the last year analyzing them and the conclusion is this, I am not defined by those events, sure they changed me but they aren't who I am. I have paid my dues for those transgressions and my mourning period is over. I will always miss my family but I in order to live to see my OWN family prosper I have to get over it and move towards a great future...
This blog is changing with me, it will be about my journey towards health. It will be about addiction and struggle and figuring it all out, for myself on my terms.
I will also need YOU. I need you to comment about my ideas, be honest and give me feedback. This project NEEDS dedication from us all. I think it will be the single answer to the future of weight loss and understanding.
Worldwide obesity has nearly doubled since 1980. More than half a billion adults are obese in 2008. The world has been putting on weight at a rate of about 2 1/2 to three pounds a decade of each person on the planet. Canada has some the the highest average body mass indexes among wealthy nations.
All the systems out there have it wrong, and need a NEW and better system. My goal is to develop that system, through extensive research, personal triumph and constantly asking the question " Why is this getting worse and worse when the health industry is getting bigger and bigger.?" THEY HAVE IT WRONG!!
I want to make it right. What would work for me? What will make ME in control of my addiction. Make ME take control of food and stay healthy? I plan on answering those questions on this blog from now on.
Here is the statement that I wrote that will be a huge part of this program. It will be said at every meeting and I will have it written every where I am.
Here it is:
Today I will cherish my body, mind and soul.
Today I build a healthy relationship with myself.
Today I will reconcile my past and forgive.
Today I live without a substance or people defining who I am.
Today will be my best day.
Onward.
So take my hand and lets get this show on the road.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Happy Birthday Mom
Happy Birthday Mom!!
Birthday. The day you were born, was one of the luckiest days for many lives.
This year for your birthday I am giving you something you have always wanted for me, happiness, contentment and living a great life. I am raising my kids with love and devotion, like you did and I will pass down your legacy of strength, love and loyalty. I will live my best life because you gave me all the tools I need to make wise choices towards a brighter future.
Not gonna lie I miss you everyday and miss you running this helm. Life was sure easier when you took care of us all. I was sure terrified when I was left in charge, I wasn't sure I would make the right choices for everyone, I didn't think I had it in me to be the person that made everything happen, to monitor everyone and make sure they were happy and safe. It took me a while to get my groove but I did it. I stepped into your little shoes and held up this family with everything I had and I am still holding strong.
Very strong.
Like you.
Happy 60th Birthday Mom, thank you for choosing us as your family and Thank You for making such a difference in my life.
I love you
Raquel
Birthday. The day you were born, was one of the luckiest days for many lives.
This year for your birthday I am giving you something you have always wanted for me, happiness, contentment and living a great life. I am raising my kids with love and devotion, like you did and I will pass down your legacy of strength, love and loyalty. I will live my best life because you gave me all the tools I need to make wise choices towards a brighter future.
Not gonna lie I miss you everyday and miss you running this helm. Life was sure easier when you took care of us all. I was sure terrified when I was left in charge, I wasn't sure I would make the right choices for everyone, I didn't think I had it in me to be the person that made everything happen, to monitor everyone and make sure they were happy and safe. It took me a while to get my groove but I did it. I stepped into your little shoes and held up this family with everything I had and I am still holding strong.
Very strong.
Like you.
Happy 60th Birthday Mom, thank you for choosing us as your family and Thank You for making such a difference in my life.
I love you
Raquel
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Um...Slim?
Hey Slim,
Where did you go?
Come on...Dad didn't mean it. He is hurting too. He doesn't like being left, so when T left for Christmas he was raw. Look it isn't right that he took it out on us but if anyone is going to stand up to him and tell him the truth about us...it should be you. Strong, beautiful and willful you.
Yes, we have been perceived as an idiot, ummm..ok that was me at the helm, I don't like confrontation. You thrive on it. Maybe we can meet in the middle and not fight with Dad but maybe stand up for ourselves with love and clarity. I will keep us calm, you will rile us up. The one thing that we have to agree on, is that we are worth fighting for.
Enough of taking personal attacks. Enough being the clown so people aren't mean to us. Enough self loathing, anger and depression. We have had enough. We have the right to a peaceful existence, just like everyone else. The only difference is, we trained people to think it is OK to treat us like unworthy crap and now we have to re-train them to be respectful and compassionate, because I need compassion. Lots of it.
So do you.
Trust your great pal Fluffy, we will fix this.
Together.
Where did you go?
Come on...Dad didn't mean it. He is hurting too. He doesn't like being left, so when T left for Christmas he was raw. Look it isn't right that he took it out on us but if anyone is going to stand up to him and tell him the truth about us...it should be you. Strong, beautiful and willful you.
Yes, we have been perceived as an idiot, ummm..ok that was me at the helm, I don't like confrontation. You thrive on it. Maybe we can meet in the middle and not fight with Dad but maybe stand up for ourselves with love and clarity. I will keep us calm, you will rile us up. The one thing that we have to agree on, is that we are worth fighting for.
Enough of taking personal attacks. Enough being the clown so people aren't mean to us. Enough self loathing, anger and depression. We have had enough. We have the right to a peaceful existence, just like everyone else. The only difference is, we trained people to think it is OK to treat us like unworthy crap and now we have to re-train them to be respectful and compassionate, because I need compassion. Lots of it.
So do you.
Trust your great pal Fluffy, we will fix this.
Together.
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