Monday, February 18, 2013

Chapter One My Biography.

Greeting my friends!!

I'm turning 40!!! YAY ME!!!

Ive decided I'm going to write my own Biography for this great occasion.

Yes... you can stop reading now. I know you support and love me. SIGH.

Anyways this is the first chapter. I could really use some encouragement.

This is a project of love.

 I, Raquel Jacinthe Smith was born April 11/1973. It was a spring day with the high temperature being +5 degrees and a low of -2. I was born in the city of Regina, a small city in the prairie province of Saskatchewan Canada.

My parents were Jacinthe and Roland Smith and I was their firstborn. Ahhhh, the precious first born. My Dad lost money that day, he had made a bunch of bets with some buddies that I would definitely be a boy. I'm a girl so of course money was to be lost.. Foreshadowing people. Foreshadowing.

My parents were young brilliant people who worked hard and laughed often.Both were independent and brave and ambitious.

My mother was a gift from God. She was patient, loving and kind. With enough edge to keep me and my sibling in line. Most of the time. She was made for my Dad. She knew love, was taught it as a child, she gave it as a child and was surrounded with it her whole life.

My Dad, struggled more for love, he had siblings who loved him, the youngest of the Smith Clan.His mother and a father that loved him the best they could, in a marriage that was destructive, angry and humble. Dad and his siblings learned that love could be broken and bitterness hurts others.They grew up quickly to escape the pressures of it all. 

They were married July 1, 1972 on a happy day, where two people found the love of their lives. I look at those pictures often and see the joy in their eyes. The love radiating in my fathers's eyes because he felt love and he felt safe. My mom looked at him with a steadfast determined look, I think it said, no matter what Roland, my love will keep us.

I was born a dark haired, green eyed little imp. I had a gleam in my eyes that promised I would be a challenge to those dear parents. I was a very demanding baby, and my mom running with my demands. And when I finally learned to walk, at 9 months, my mischief became legendary.

On January 5, 1975, my little brother Jason was born. I was mildly curious about Jason, he was sorta ugly, and I remember thinking that I asked God for a sister! Then one day, while I was studying him, he smiled at me and I smiled back. I decided he will do,  He was a very good little baby, thankfully, for my mom, he was easy to please with food and cuddles. He was in no hurry to explore the world and loved to just study the faces of the people he loved and drool. He was so simple and sweet. Perfect for our little growing family.

At first, Jason was boring as crap He'd just laid there and made little noises. Mom didn't trust me to hold him because I was hyper and a little unfocused, but sometime she would sit with me and let me snuggle in really close and study him. I loved his cute cheeks and his sweet eyes. I would make voices for him, and tell mom what he was thinking. She would roll her eyes and laugh at me.

Soon Jason was sitting up and I could pretend he was a friend that came over for a snack. My mom spent a lot of time taking things out of his mouth that he couldn't snack on. I asked her why he couldn't eat like normal kids, she told me he didn't have teeth.

 I decided he was defective.

Soon though, he was starting to move around and grew a couple teeth. He had potential.


Shortly after Jason turned 1, our family was blessed again, with a beautiful dark haired little girl. Melanie Chantelle Smith joined us on May 16/1976. She was premature and fragile and her birth put both her and my mom into danger. My parents decided they were done having children, as they watched my sister struggling to live on a ventilator. During the process of saving her, her vocal cords were tore and she was left mute. My parents prayed and called in family to help with Jason and I, and everyone came together and soon Melanie recovered.

Soon, she recovered enough to come home and man was I excited! I got a sister! Jason studied her like a bug and poked at her eyes, I shooed him away and held her closer, she was so cute! Although she was out of the hospital she was still hooked up to a ventilator and my Dad would have to suction it every night to help expand her lungs. The procedure hurt her and my Dad felt terrible. He loved her dearly and held her close to aid in expanding  her lungs. Looking through the pictures I saw the happiness Melanie brought to our lives, a couple bath shots with Jason and I standing on chairs watching my mom lovingly and tenderly bath my little sister. Smiles in all the pictures. We were very blessed.

In November of that same year, Melanie was napping on my parents bed, she was such a good baby and napped so sweetly, when she awoke she would lay there and wait till someone came to check on her. Being mute, she was very patient. I asked my mom if I could go and check on Melanie and when Mom relented I raced down the hall and slowly widened my parents door. I saw her tiny form on my Mom's side still and sweet. I crept up and looked closely at Melanie's soft face. At first I thought she was still sleeping but when I leaned it to wake her I noticed her ventilation tubes laying beside her. My heart felt something was wrong so I got up and ran to my Mom in the kitchen. I told her Melanie's tubes were out, and my mom's face registered confusion then quickly panic. She ran past me and into her room. I followed close behind and lingered at the bedroom door while my mother rocked my sister back and forth, crying and saying no no no over and over. She was whispering to Melanie, "please don't go, please stay with Mommy, Melanie please"
My heart was so scared, it pounded in my chest, I didn't understand what was happening so I whispered "Mommy?"
My Mom looked over to me and said to quickly go to the neighbors and bring her here. I wanted to help so much, I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me to our neighbors house. I told her something was wrong with Melanie and my mommy was crying. I started to cry too. Bonnie, our neighbor, ran past me and towards our home. She met my mother at the door. I remember they were rapidly speaking and suddenly Mom left in a big truck with lights. Bonnie took Jason and I to her place, made us dinner that I didn't want to eat, I just wanted to sit at the window and wait till my mom and sister came back home to get me.

That night, I saw my parents come home. Their heads where low and my father put his arm around my mothers shoulders and lead her to the house. I excitedly told Bonnie that Mommy and Daddy were home and we better get going. Bonnie gave me a little hug and said my parents needed sometime alone. I didn't understand that. I wanted to get home, so Mom could make me feel better, so I wouldn't be afraid anymore. So our family could be together. I had no idea that our family would never be together the same again.